Raine's Journal

dont touch me please

02:14pm 10/08/2005

mood:

ecstatic

music: Manson - Tainted Love

well, i ended up not going to my uncle's party. i stayed home and watched alex. that was...what? sunday? so yeah...sunday. mostly, i watched America's Next Top Model. i looked into how to get on that show. i never will. you have to be a minimum of 5'7'' to even apply. damn.

monday- uh...yeah. lol. i dunno. we(me, cor, mom, alex) went to Country Inn for dinner. one of the subs from school works there. cory found that very amusing. then we came back here. watched Eternal Sunshine. that's about all.

yesterday- mom went to dinner with trish. me and al stayed home, and cory came over. we worked on a puzzle and watched G-Phoria. took him home. watched The Real World: Austin. i don't think they should have gone home with danny. and especially not followed him to his mother's funeral. oh well. i guess that's what he signed on for, huh?

today- cor has to work. ew. i have nothing to do.

im getting really into 'goth' music. it rox. yupyup. anyone that has AOL, go to the radio. there's a whole gothic station.

i guess that's it. bye.

-me-

um..k?

05:30pm 09/08/2005

mood:

bored

music: VNV Nation - Standing

List seven of your favorite songs of the moment in your journal and force seven other people to repeat this process or a puppy somewhere in the world will be sad.

1. Linkin Park - Breaking The Habit
2. Manson - Fight Song
3. Garbage - Bleed Like Me
4. Fall Out Boy - Sugar, We're Goin Down
5. Green Day - Good Riddance
6. MCR - I'm Not Okay(I Promise)
7. Slipknot - Wait and Bleed

Ok Seven Lucky Bastards -

it's alright

12:36pm 06/08/2005

mood:

calm

music: Blink 182 - Adam's Song

hm...not a whole lot, as usual. tomorrow, i have to go out to southgate for my uncle's birthday party...even tho he isn't actually gonna be there...try an explain that one to me. lol. my family is so weird. here's what i did yesterday-

cory came over. well, actually, i went and got him. he was playing football at the teen center, so i corynapped him. mom dropped us off at home, and went to kohl's. cory mowed. then he came in and took a shower. then we did some stuff online. then we looked thru stuff i drew/wrote when i was little. then..uh..we looked thru pictures in the basement. then mom came home and we went to dinner at Big Boy. we all got the dinner bar. ended up sitting next to robbie groller and matt brancleone(sp?). then we went putt-putt golfing. the balls were so cool. lol. mine was black with a skull and crossbones. cor's was an eyeball. alex's was an 8 ball. mom's had 100 dollar bills all over it. lol. mom won. cory got second. me and alex tied for last. lol. i suck at golf. we got attacked by mosquitoes. my left hand is really puffy. like...woah. anyways, then we went to blockbuster. ran into charlie howard's lil bro. ya know, lil howard. lol. we rented Donnie Darko, the director's cut. so, came home, watched that. it was pretty cool. i got a little lost, but then again, i was very tired. took cory home around 12:30. came back here. watched Best Week Ever, then went to bed. now im here. yep. so, i guess that's all. toodles.

-me-

yup, that's me

02:47pm 04/08/2005

mood:

headache

music: garbage - push it

im the luckiest gal in the whole wide world. yup.

and i have a new layout, and icon, you must check out the layout though. it's beautiful.

AND...

IM GETTING MY BRACES OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RW: A

10:06am 03/08/2005

mood:

content

music: jack johnson - sitting, waiting, wishing

went to corys yesterday. didnt stay too long. it was too hot. and i was in a bad mood and was afraid i'd take it out on him. so yeah, came home around 5. can't remember what i did until 10, but at 10 i watched Real World: Austin. poor danny. he's just not having the best luck while he's there. first he gets his face broken, then his mom dies? wtf? poor guy. him and mel are so cute tho. it's good he had her there to help. i guess that's why they called it "the real world", huh?

today, cory gets his check. it should be a pretty big one, he's been working a whole lot. we're gonna go to the mall and get him a new outfit for my senior pix...if we can get a ride. which i doubt, but hey. ok, done.

-me-

oh yawn
		12:09pm 01/08/2005
	wow, am i tired. and i have no clue why. oh well. im so bored. cory had to work yesterday, and has to today, too. poo. the highlight of my yesterday? i painted my nails. woo friggin hoo. tho, i did pick out my three outfits for my senior pix. they will be as follows: Pic One - yearbook - a black tee (it's only shoulder and up, ya kno) Pic Two - just me - my long black skirt, a black wifebeater, and a deep red fishnet over it. Pic Three - me and cory - my pants with the glow in the dark thingies, the lime green tank, black fishnet over it. i think im dying my hair again before i get them done. it looks like shit right now. i'll just do it in a non-permanent black. as for make-up and stuff...i dunno. i do know im pulling my hair up in one of them like how i had it in my icon (piggy tails, possibly with a black bandana). make-up...probably pretty dark. i might even mix some black in with m lipstick. accesories...prolly my spike bracelet and choker...or my bondage chocker. haven't decided yet. running of time. gah.
		(catch a butterfly)

go here
		11:59am 01/08/2005

		(catch a butterfly)

new icon

10:54pm 30/07/2005

mood:

crazy

music: Smile Empty Soul - Nowhere Kids

and the coolest part about my new icon? that's a picture of me and cory...TODAY! lol. how nifty. so anyways, today was way awesome. got up around 10. watched some tv. talked to my baby pumpkin. lol. dont ask. then got dressed and stuff. cory got here around 12. left. went to meet my aunt dar and shelby at CJ Barrymore's. i don't really like that place too much, cuz im not much of outside girl, and im not really in to arcades, but hey. i got to be with cory. so anyways, went there. ate first. i got swedish fish! woot. then we...i don't remember. but, at some point, they all went on the bumber boats and go karts, me and cory went in the photo booth (thus the icon). i was really impressed with their photo booth. i don't know if you can really tell in the icon, but they look almost professional. they're really nice. anyways, then we played in the arcade and got a churro. me and cory both hit the jackpot on that cyclone game. between that and the other games we played, we had about 710 tickes. i got a stuffed Kermit. he's so cute. he has clothes on. lol. after we left there, we all went out to linner (lunch/dinner) at Logan's. i had...bread. yup. then after that...me, mom, cor, and alex went to the mall. i took some stuff back to a store i won't name, then headed to hot topic. check this shit out---

I GOT 3 SHIRTS, 2 NAILPOLISHES, EYESHADOW, AND A BRACELET...AT HOT TOPIC...FOR UNDER 50 DOLLARS!!!! holy woah!

got home around 9. took a shower. now im here. yup. nightey all.

-me-

(3 flew away | catch a butterfly)

it's not fair

11:02pm 29/07/2005

mood:

indescribable

ok, wtf man. i am so fucking sick of people judging me before they ever even meet me. that is ridiculous. no, im not perfect. can we say duh? but jesus fucking christ, i deserve a little more respect than that. all human beings do. people hear shit about me from stupid, ignorant asses like lincoln and steve and niki and ashley...and just assume it's true. so allow me to clear up a few of the 'myths' about me. maybe then people will decide to "know" who i am *after* they've actually fucking talked to me.

-yes, i used to cut. i don't anymore. everyone has dark spots, so fucking get over it!

-yes, i did call the cops on steve spinelli last year. wanna know why? he told me if i came to school the next day, that he was gonna blow my fucking head off. holy wow, why did that scare me? well, it did. so, i called my b/f at the time, john. and guess who's idea it was to call the cops??? woah...john's.

-yes, i did hurt lincoln. yes, it was low, and mean what i did to him. and to cory. but ya want me to list the shit link did to me? i would, but i don't think a web page would be big enough. he hurt me too, ya know. emotionally, mentally, and physically. how bout you try to be in a car with him behind the wheel saying shit like "it sure is a good day to die, huh raine" then takes his hands off the fucking wheel and closes his god damn eyes. you try holding him on his bedroom floor, while your both crying your fucking eyes out, wrestling a knife out of his hands because you love him so fucking much it hurts. and you finally get it away from him. and give it to another person in the room. but the light catches on your hands...and you see it. his blood...his god damn blood...on you! you try getting in a car accident, getting hurt, and having him not even ask if your ok. try having his friends care about you more then he does. or maybe, you could try talking to him about cutting, trying to let him know that you understand, and have his only fucking response be 'mine are deeper'. or hey, how about having get drunk on new years eve and try to make out with some other chick. how bout that? oh what? doesn't he just sound so awesome now? don't ya just wanna run right out and marry him? don't you? yes...i hurt him. but i don't regret it. i never will. he got what he deserved...maybe not even enough.

-no, i did not tell everone ashley abel had herpes. don't even know how that one got started. but it wasn't me...k hun?

any other things you've heard that made you decide i was some horrid hell bitch? anything else that made you think you fucking knew me? knew what i've been though or the kind of person i am? im gonna go with a big fucking no. there's a grand total of about 5 people that do know me that well. and even that's a stretch. you gotta problem with me, grow some balls and fucking tell me about it, K? are there any other little discrepancies?

lil help?

06:11pm 29/07/2005

music: the rain falling

ok, im stealing a page from the book of mat here.
which layout is better?

Number One shell_of_me

- or -

Number Two raines_poems

just thought i'd ask.

sigh and stuff

10:31pm 28/07/2005

mood:

sleepy

music: KoRn - Thoughtless

so yeah, like i said earlier...back to this journal. don't know why...just is. went to cory's today. didn't do a whole lot. watched les porn. that was fun! went for a walk to the teen center. no one was really there. except this one kid i'd never seen before. apparently, cory was at tiffany's all day yesterday hitting on her. which i find quite funny, cuz i was on the phone with most of the day, then he went to work, came home, and talked to me online. so how he found the time to hit on another girl, i have no idea, but i am quite impressed. lol. oh, some little boy almost drowned in the pool. the ambulence pulled up right as we were leaving. i think he was ok though...i hope so. that's an awful way to go...especially so young. anyways, then we went back to cory's. tried to feed Linus. didn't work. i hope he isn't sick or something. he was damn expensive. stupid snake. then i started getting sick for lack of food and went home. i was alone for quite a while. mom and dad were out to dinner, and alex is at a sleepover b-day party. i had dinner, watched Angel, then i've been reading my book ever since. it's really good...im amazed i've put it down long enought to write this, actually.

~+~

so yeah, i was looking back through the old entries on this one. it amazes me how clueless i am sometimes. how i didn't realize that cory and i had feelings for each other...i shall never know. or how i didn't see how wrong lincoln was...geesh. it's also scary, to read through. it's like a timeline of my life leading up to the second apocalypse or something. lol. it's kinda like living in Sunnydale. if ya don't know what that is...i highly suggest you turn on whatever channel FX is between 1 and 3 PM any weekday. for those of you that do, allow me to continue. that's what my life is. sitting, waiting for the hellmouth to open up...again. now, where's the sarcastic, platinum blonde british vamp when you need him? willow? xander? anyone? yeah...someone's been watching too many re-runs. hehe. oh well. back to what i was saying. looking back it all is scary, cuz this time i know what's coming. i know how it's all gonna unfold. i think i'll refrain from reading any further past entries...for my own mental safety. night.

-me

sorry...again

03:04pm 28/07/2005

mood:

rushed

music: manson

yup..back to this journal. so sorry. i'll actaully update later. gotta go now.

♥♥♥♥♥♥ Raine ♥♥♥♥♥♥

wiggle wiggle

05:07pm 19/03/2005

mood:

cranky

music: Hot Hot Heat- Goodnight Goodnight

beat fable. yay! watched The Incredibles. i liked it, yay! uh...yeah. i guess thats it, really. wow, isnt my life just intolerbaly exciting? i know. god. toodles.

( ...poke... )

fight the future and fuck the past

07:56pm 17/03/2005

mood:

crazy

music: MSI- I Hate Jimmy Page

god damn, where to start. at the beginning, i suppose. yeah. i moved out. went to stacey's. well, for three days, anywho. only the greatest three days of..well, ever. yeah. my parents knew i left. knew where i was. told me i could leave. then i guess they changed their minds yesterday. they came to school with a cop. i guess im a runaway now. they had no clue where i was (even tho i told them) had no idea i left (even tho they watched me walk out the door) and were just sooo worried. my dad actually pretended to friggin cry. god. so yeah, now i get to do a whole bunch of fun shit, like go to court. but, before i can go to court, i get to have a complete mental and physical evaluation! yay! and, just to top it all off, Marjorie fucked Lincoln. so yeah, i dumped her. but honestly, those three days, even at down points, we wonderful. thanks in large to my amazing Cory. he even took me out to dinner at Empire Buffet. lol...which has a great story to it, but yeah. i wont get into that. so, to sum it up, i had a brief glimpse of actual happines, and now im grounded for four weeks. and im being forced to get a job and my license. but hey, two more bright points, 1- i might be getting a cell. and 2-RILEY IS OFFICIALLY MINE! no one elses. i've always called him mine, and thought of him as mine, and been the only one to love him. but yeah, now hes all mine. and when i leave, they're letting me take him! woo! other than that, not a lot. MEAPS and shit, ya know. hehe, cory just showed up at my door. he brought me a cheeseburger from mcdonalds. god, hes so perfect. OH! i got my hair cut! its really short and i love it. so you better love it to, bitch! and uh...yeah. thats all. ciao.
-Princes

I LOVE CORY DREW A WHOLE FRICKIN LOT!!!!! KISSES BABY. MUAH MUAH MUAH. HUG HUG HUG.

kyle's mom is a bitch

04:25am 13/03/2005

mood:

high

music: Daria

crud what a day. i got up. i ate a brownie. i called cory. james and cassie came and got me. went to cory's. went to DQ. went to McDonald's to see sean. stayed there for a while. went to VG's to return bottles. went to Media Play. got a rainbow lanyard. went to Lakeside. got some pins, a wristband. went to cassie's sister's place. they smoke. i didnt. i still got a bit of a contact buzz tho. left there. went to a diff mickey d's. got a mc chicken. ate it. yummy. went to frost road. hehehe. came home. hate my parents. im gonna attempt tp move out tomorrow. im old enough now, i guess. i really hope so. yeah. that would be great. im already all packed. just gotta get up and get a shower. yup. yay. i cant sleep. i tried. its late. or early, depending on how you look at it. to me, its late, cuz i havent been to sleep yet. lol. school tomorrow. meaps. blah. ok. guess thats all. o, i mite get to go to florida with me peoples over spring break. if i actually ove out tomorrow. yay! that would so rock. just me, my friends that i love greatly, and venice beach. hell yes. ok, thats really all. i think. hola.
-Rai

bitches love me cuz they know that i can rock

10:05pm 11/03/2005

mood:

lonely

music: MSI- Bitches

not much went on today. woke up at 6. turned off my alarm. went back to bed. lol. mom came in and poked me a few times at 7, but i couldnt move i was so tired. so yeah, if ya didnt notice, i wasnt at school today. i got up at about 11, and just layed there and cuddled with my bear for a while. got up. cleaned out my closet. threw out a bunch of old shit. its really neat and tidy now. i like it. i took out my dresses and put in my hoodies. talked to cory. watched 'Surviving Christmas' then Degrassi. then talked to cory more. took a shower somewhere in there. lol. now i have a headache. and im uber bored. everyones at corys except me. grrr. o well. hopefully ill get to go out tomorrow. till then. ciao.
Rai

fossilized french fry

10:09pm 10/03/2005

mood:

crazy

music: Gretchen Wilson- Redneck Woman

today was all over the place, really. so ill just do a brief rundown. here ya go:
be4- went to the table. sat with my people. yup. went to class.
1- worked on my project a lil. listened to MSI all hour. got online some.
2- found some iTune download caps on my desk. 2 of them. im usin them right now, actually. anyways, had a test. i think i may have actually done pretty good.
3- uh...worksheet. comparison of MLK JR and Malcolm X. talked to counterman a little bit.
4- played solitaire. got online.
5- cory did his monologue. he was so cute. aw. when he went up there, mrs. battice went "theres your guy" lol. shes so cool. yeah, there was a nice lil gift for me on my desk. i wont get into it tho. no big.
6- another test. goofed around w/ donovan. he's actually pretty kool. goes to show, first judgments arent always accurate.
after- rode with stayc. dropped off Ohio. went to cory's. did some stuff. went to marjorie's. got in a fight with linc. went out to the car. cory and kevin went in. cory was so angry he was shaking. poor baby. but yeah, to sum it up, linc said to me(we were alone at the time) that i should feel lucky he can control his anger so well, or he'd have killed me. what the fuck? why do i get all the psychos that threaten my life? o well. i was wrong about one thing. he didnt write that note yesterday. fuckin robbie did. fuck him. o well. stayc went tanning. me, cory, and kev went into salvation army. messed around in there. went back to marjories. she told us to come back after she could get rid of linc. i guess she wasnt too thrilled with having him there. so ya, we went back and chilled there for a while. that was fun. i kissed two girls at the same time. hehe. then we went to uh...drive around. hehe. then back to corys. then stayc drove me home. all in all, it was a good day. yay. and i think im stayin the nite at marjories tomorrow! wooooo. ok. thats all. ciao.
-Princess

sinner

09:28pm 09/03/2005

mood:

creative

music: MSI

yesterday- not a lot. went to school. did the usual shit. came home. went out with my gang. with the addition of marjorie. we just took her home, tho. that sucked. but on the other it didnt, cuz when we were in the car, we made out. so hey. yeah. then we went to corys. if you read his journal, you know how that went. lol. if ya didnt, then it was awesome. yeah. wow. came home around 7:30. took a shower. had dinner. went to sleep.

today- almost didnt go to school. but then i remembered that my cory would be back today! so that got me goin. so yeah, went to school. heres my day.

1- i actually did my work! yay!!!

2- trevin splashed me with water...right across my tits too. lol. walked with cory to go see marjorie. then went to class. did my work there too!

3- walked with cory to my locker, which had an "anonymous" letter taped to it. it was for me and cory. it was from linc. he denies it, but whatever. it pissed me of when i read it. so in class i wrote him back. i also did my work, but mostly wrote to him. i was a total bitch, but hey...he kinda deserves it at this point.

4- typed. fun. woo.

lunch- ate. gave linc his note. well, technically, i just walked past him and threw it at him, but hey.

5- fun shit. as always. cuddled with my baby.

6- burned shit. wooo!!! it was a pyro's dream come true. actually getting a grade for burning things. hehe. we(me, donovan, john bryson) burned 2 peanuts, a piece of bread, a sugar cube, and a marshmellow. then john ate the marshmellow. ew. it was a really fun class. except for the killer urge i had to burn the cigarette in my pocket. lol.

after- came home and crashed on the couch. i watched Family Guy and a making the video on FUSE that was my chemical romance. then i fell asleep till 5. then went with mom to meijers. i got new jeans and a top. woot. then wendy's for dinner. yummy. i ate meat. a cheeseburger. it was good. ok. tis all. nitey.

-Rai

.x. My Theory on Rap Music Acceptability Among the Goth/Punk Population .x.

we hate rap. hands down. but eminem is ok. why is this? ill tell you why. or at least why i think. he doesnt rap about the same shit as all the other ones. he doesnt just talk about sex, drugs, titties, sex, sex, and sex. he talks about real shit. like his kid, and his mistakes. he talks about life. maybe thats why?

( a thingy )